The Virtue of Consideration
17 May 2010 Leave a Comment
in Consideration, Joy, Peacefulness Tags: anxiety solutions, co-dependent solutions, depression solutions, virtues of wellbeing
Consideration
Consideration is being thoughtful of other people and their feelings. You consider how your actions affect them. You pay careful attention to what others like and don’t like, and do things that give them happiness. (www.52virtues.com)
My dear, Great Grandfather, bless his heart, was one of the grumpiest old men I have known. But God love him! He lived through two world wars (and faught in one of them), immigrated to Canada from Scotland as an infant with a family that did the best they could to survive under difficult circumstances. By the time he was in his 90s, he had become a man who did not easily have consideration for others. (But can you blame him, really?) I loved him despite it and accepted him exactly as he was. I miss him terribly and dedicate this post to him today.
If he had at one point decided, “You know what, I’m not going to be so grumpy anymore”…then it would be the Virtue of Consideration that he would have been needing to find within himself. He might find himself being more considerate of the mailman if he was late, being more considerate of the needs of a family member who had become ill, become more considerate of the nurses feelings who took care of him, etc. And in finding this virtue in himself he may have found some happiness that had been lacking in his life (and made the lives of those around him easier too!). God love him.
However, the Virtue of Consideration can bring other gifts to us as well. For those of us who are already self-less care-givers, are already devoted nurses, teachers, mothers, child-care providers, etc, we are well accustomed to the virtue of consideration. And in fact are very good at considering other people’s needs and feelings and helping them to have their needs met.
This is where I flip the coin and say that the Virtue of Consideration is not only about acknowledging how others are feeling and how their needs may be met — but that we remember that we are also “a person” and that our needs must be met as well.
So on our quest to have peacefulness in our lives daily, the virtue of consideration can remind us that we must consider our own needs alongside those others to whom we serve. When we have filled up our own cup then we are more able to share with others.
This is sometimes hard to do — really hard! Especially for those of us who are dealing with issues of depression, anxiety, or co-dependent behaviours. We have become so used to thinking of others that we forget how valuable we are.
Re-training ourselves to be considerate of ourselves takes effort and care but it is worth it. Because when we are considerate and give careful attention to our energy levels and to bringing things into our lives that give us Joy then we are more balanced and therefore more Peaceful.
Consider: Is there something that you have been wanting or needing but that you have refrained from giving to yourself? What is one thing you can do today to begin to be one step closer to meeting that need and showing consideration to yourself?
Copyright Rachel Perry 2010
